


Forever My Father

by yayernayer



Category: Kpop - Fandom, Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 18 years into the future, Character Death, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know - Freeform, M/M, Papa!Woojin, Seungmin just wants answers, Show up later in the story, Teen!Changbin, Teen!Seungmin, as Neighbors, baby!Seungmin, dad!chan, mentions of child abuse, mentions of self harm, past story, woochan as parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 18:43:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20430665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yayernayer/pseuds/yayernayer
Summary: “Hey dad?” Seungmin started slowly, “I’m not your kid, am i?”“You are my kid. You are woojin’s kid. Our kid that we absolutely love and cherish. You are our kid.”“I just wanna know why i’m different..” He gulped. “Different from you two.”





	Forever My Father

Seungmin had always felt so different, like a part of him was missing. It annoyed him because he didn’t know what was wrong. He had his dads that loved and cared for him, he had a good home, he had great friends. But this feeling always found a way to bother him. It was always there. 

One night when he was four, he had woken up crying because this feeling was too intense, he didn’t know what to do. So he walked over to his parents room and climbed onto the bed. “Daddy,” he cries softly, shaking Chan’s sleeping body. “Daddy” 

“Huh, what?” Chan opens his eyes to his little crying boy. “Hey, What’s wrong love?” Chan engulfs Seungmin into a big bear hug and pats his back until Seungmin’s sobbing turned into slowed breathing. 

“Daddy?” Seungmin asked in such a small voice. 

Chan felt the grip around his neck tighten, “Yes, love?” 

“You love me, right?” 

“Yes, I love you forever.” 

He didn’t try to look for the answer from his dads, thinking it was pointless. If they knew something, they would tell him. They wouldn’t hide anything from him, right? So, he ignored it. He grew up beautifully, as one of his dads would say, He played with the neighbourhood kids, went through elementary just fine, middle school had a few bumps along the way but he managed, Started joining school clubs as soon as he got into highschool. He was living just fine.

Despite all that, the heavy empty feeling never went away. It was always lingering like it was waiting for the day Kim Seungmin would finally break. 

And that he did..

It was a week before Seungmin’s 18th birthday. He had already started his senior year. Most people would be thrilled about moving out and starting their own lives out there in the world, but Seungmin was anything but thrilled. Here he was, laying on his bedroom floor with the lights out, soft music playing, and a few razors spread out everywhere. He was a mess. 

Seungmin honestly doesn’t know what happened- one moment he’s texting his best friend, felix, next thing you know, with no warning, he blacked out. Both of his arms are burning, it hurts to breathe, vision blurry from the tears, and he somehow hit his head during his fall. Seungmin lies there, whimpering as blood ooze out of his fresh cuts. It hurts, so much, why is he hurting? 

What’s wrong with him? he didn’t do anything to deserve this. 

“Why..” Seungmin whispers to himself, letting this empty feeling consume his entire soul. “Dad,” he’s on the verge of blacking out again, “Papa,” The room gets darker and it’s cold. “Help..” Seungmin slowly realizes that he’s holding the razor to his wrist again. “Please, let me go!” He shouts into the void. “Please..” 

Then it hits him. It hits him so hard. 

With a choked sob, he slowly lifts himself up from the floor and walks towards the door. Before turning the door knob, he drops the razor onto the floor and takes a couple of deep breaths to calm down. He does this for five minutes to make sure he won’t faint again. When he’s certain he’s okay enough to walk to the kitchen, he opens his door and ever-so quietly walks down the hallway. 

Once he hears his parents talk amongst themselves, seungmin wipes his face and tries to wipe the blood off his arm. He knocks on the wall to make his presence known.

“Hey Minnie,” His dad, Chan, smiles at him. “Right on time, dinner is about ready now.”

Seungmin shakes his head. “No, I’m not hungry..”

“You sure?” Chan was sitting at the table on his laptop, probably working on his projects. “Your papa is making your favourite dish” Chan winks at his papa, Woojin, and pats the chair next to him. “Come sit.”

“Hey dad?” Seungmin started slowly, fidgeting with his fingers. All this time he didn’t know what was wrong, what was missing, what was bothering him for years.. He finally figured it out. It’s nerve-racking. “I’m not your kid, am i?”

“What makes you say that, sweetie?” Woojin gasped before Chan could say anything, already making his way towards his only son. “Are you feeling okay?” 

“What’s this about?” Chan followed closely behind Woojin, grabbing Seungmin’s hand. Chan noticed the tear stains on his son’s face and the dried up blood on his wrists. “You are my kid. You are woojin’s kid. Our kid that we absolutely love and cherish. You are our kid.” 

They slowly guided the teenager into the living room and onto the couch, making sure that their son sat in between them. “What’s wrong, love?” 

Seungmin stared off into the distance, showing no signs of communicating 

“I won’t know what’s wrong unless you tell me,” Chan frowned, he noticed the way Seungmin tense up and wouldn’t make eye contact. “Minnie? What’s on your mind?” 

“Please, Minnie,” Woojin tried, grabbing Seungmin’s cold hands and holding them close. “What happened?” 

Seungmin couldn’t look at his parents, not when they’re so worried-looking.The guilt was making it almost impossible for him to breathe. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything, maybe he should have stayed in his room, maybe he should have disappeared, maybe.. Maybe-

“I just,” His parents just barely missed the small voice, they lean in more. “I’ve always- I just- For years, I’ve always had this feeling.” Seungmin shivered, just the thought of it still shakes him up. “I always felt different.” 

Woojin and Chan share a look, they’re confused, but they soon figure out what their only son was trying to say. Chan frowns. “Minnie, I’ve always known. You aren’t that slick, I always noticed that sad look on your face, even when you were a baby. You knew something was wrong from the start.” Chan sighs. He knew this day would come, but it still hurt.

“I just,” Seungmin exhaled, ready to bolt out of the room. “I just wanna know why i’m different..” He gulped. “Different from you two.” 

“We can tell you,” Woojin puts his hand on top of Seungmin’s. “If you want us to,” 

“I want to know,” Does he? “I’m ready.” 

The room goes quiet. Too quiet. Maybe this was a bad idea, a really bad idea. Is it too late to back out?

“Seungmin, we...were given you from a stranger one night. Your papa and I just got married at a church nearby and we were walking back home. Then suddenly this teenager runs up to us and desperately cries for us to take his baby. We had no idea what was happening, but Papa took you into his arms and we saw you for the first time.” Chan smiles at the memory, “ _ What a beautiful baby,  _ we thought. From that day on, we both vowed to keep you safe.”

“But, Minnie,” Woojin said softly, tightening the grip on Seungmin’s hand. “You are our kid. We are your fathers. Nothing is going to change that.” 

“So, Who am I?” Seungmin cries, loses his balance but Chan is quick to catch him. “Why am I here?” His broken sobs are heard from everywhere in the house. This hurt. It hurt so much. 

“Baby, We wish we can take this pain from you,” Chan cries. He can’t stand to watch his son cry so painfully. “We’re so sorry we didn’t tell you sooner, we’re so sorry..” He looks down to see Woojin on his knees, both hands clinging onto Seungmin’s marked up arms. 

“Forgive Papa,” Woojin cries, “Forgive Dad,” Woojin almost shouts, trying so hard to control his breakdown. “Forgive us..” 

“Papa,” Seungmin chokes out, reaching out for Woojin. “Please get up, you don’t need to do that, please..” He struggles to lift Woojin up, but Chan is there to help him. “I should be sorry, for reacting this way. I’m sorry,” Seungmin hugs both of his dads, never wanting to let go. 

“We should have told you sooner,” Woojin whispers once they all calmed down, tears still in their eyes. “We’re so sorry.”

“It’s fine now,” Seungmin half-smiled, kissing his papa’s cheek. “What matters most right now is that you’re my papa,” He turns to kiss Chan’s cheek, “And you’re my dad.” Seungmin closes his eyes when his parents lean in to kiss his cheeks. “I love you so much.” 

“We love you,” They sit in silence, holding each other and listening to each other’s heartbeats. 

After a while, Chan speaks up. “You still want to know more,” Seungmin is hesitant but he nods. Chan looks at Woojin for confirmation, who was already nodding and now holding onto their son. “Okay, we’ll tell you everything.” Chan sighs. This will be a long night. 

“Your biological dad’s name was Changbin..” 

..

….

….

  
  
  


Changbin found himself walking on a bridge at 9pm that night, holding the tiny sleepy baby in his arms. His vision a little blurry from drinking at a nearby party, or mainly because he's been crying since his parents had kicked him out two hours earlier. Who knows.

"When did my life get so fucked up?" Changbin asked no one in particular. Sighing, He watched his son yawn and snuggled into Changbin’s chest. This baby...This beautiful baby boy doesn't deserve a father like Changbin. Sure, He always thought he'd be a wonderful father, a great role model if you will but, He can't deal with anything right now. He just turned eighteen years old and now he’s walking aimlessly with a newborn baby in his arms. 

"I'm sorry you had to be left with me," With choked up tears, Changbin gently poked the tiny person's cheek, melting at his toothless smile, then stopping in the middle of the bridge. It's been a week since this wonderful human was born and still didn't have a name. He might as well name him, right? Nodding to himself, Changbin presses his forehead against his son’s little chest, “Your name is Seungmin..”

Now, Changbin wasn't in the room when Seungmin was born, having to be out in the waiting room. He knew that his life would forever be changed when he heard the loud cries coming from the room. Anxiety was filling up his stomach when the nurses came out, holding the tiny human in a yellow wool blanket. As if time itself stopped when he finally held Seungmin in his arms, his little hands immediately latching with Changbin’s finger. "You're so beautiful.." was all he said before the nurses informed him that the girl had run away.

"Life doesn’t seem to be fair for the both of us, huh?" Changbin laughed lightly, deciding to sit down and adjust baby boy’s sleeping position. He took one long look at Seungmin and tears formed in his eyes. "I want.....I want to say that I'll always be there for you, b-but...I don't think..."

Warm tears fell onto Seungmin’s sleeping face, Changbin couldn't finish his sentence and never wanted to. He wanted to fight through this lonely feeling and be the father he wanted to be for his Seungmin, He wanted to wake up every morning with his son beside him, He wanted to have to those 'father and son' moments with Seungmin, He wanted to be happy. But....He can't do it alone.

“You know, I was finally having such a good life,” Changbin whispered, ducking his head and wrapping his arms protectively around seungmin’s tiny body whenever someone would walk by. “I was going to graduate next year and move out of this town and be free, you know?” Seungmin yawned and took hold of Changbin’s finger. “I had a girlfriend and we were so in love… But sometimes love can blind you. Turns out I was the one in love while she was playing with my heart.” Changbin frowned, he wasn’t going to cry over her again. No more. “We had you, but she didn’t want you.”

Changbin took a deep breath and looked at his surroundings. It was chilly but that was to be expected since it’s almost October, hushed voices were heard whenever people walked by, and the water down below looked inviting. “And- and I don’t know if I want...you either.”

After a while of just sitting and listening to his own thoughts, Changbin decided if he can't make this beautiful child happy, then someone else will...right? Knowing Seungmin will be happy without him really hurt Changbin, but, life is always about sacrifices and this was one of them.

"I love you and I always will," Changbin cried, gently kissing Seungmin’s tiny forehead, "I'm sorry I can't be a better father to you.."

Changbin waited until the right people came passing by, He didn't want to leave Seungmin in the hands of bad people. So about 10 minutes later, A couple was making their way across and they seemed to be good people, laughing and occasionally kissing each other on the cheek. Changbin studied them. A sense of guilt and sadness spiralling in his gut. This is it, they're the one.

Standing up, Changbin kissed Seungmin one last time and made his way toward the couple. He hadn't notice that he was crying, but the couple did. They stopped in their tracks and saw the way the stranger was struggling to walk. They looked at each other then at the stranger. Maybe a drunk? but wait - Why would a drunk be holding a newborn baby in their arms? They had so many questions and had even more when the stranger stopped in front of them and handed them the baby.

"His name is Seungmin," The stranger cried, "Please, please,  _ please  _ take good care of him."

Confused, they looked down at the sleeping baby then at the....wait where did he go? The sounds of someone struggling to get over the ledge got their attention. Panicked, Chan gently passed over the baby to Woojin before running to catch the stranger from jumping.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" The stranger screamed at Chan, sobbing uncontrollably as he tried to break free from his grip. "LET ME JUMP, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.."

"Y-YOU CAN'T LEAVE THIS BABY ON HIS OWN! HE NEEDS YOU!" Chan screamed back, fighting back his own tears. He wasn't going to let this man die. "YOU'RE BEING SELFISH AND STUPID!"

Great, Changbin thought to himself. He tried doing something for himself and here he was, crying in front of a stranger as he's trying to end his life. Great. Just great.

"YOU DON'T KNOW ME," Changbin cried, wishing for everything to stop. "LET. ME. JUMP!"

"I WILL NOT LET YOU JUMP!" Man, this guy was getting annoying. Changbin needed to distract him and fast. He stopped squirming and calmed down. Changbin took deep breaths and made the stranger loosen his grip. 

“Chan, maybe we need to get him to the hospital?” The other stranger had called out to them, shushing the crying baby boy. “Sweet baby, sorry for waking you up,” The stranger cooed softly. 

“Hey, listen,” Chan started slowly, getting ready to pull this guy over the ledge. “Let’s talk, yeah?” Chan felt the stranger shake his head, protesting. “Come onto this side and we’ll talk. I’ll help you.”

“I can’t- I don’t need help,” The stranger cried, squirming to be free. “I don’t deserve this.”

“Don’t deserve what?” Chan yelled, getting fed up. He was about ready to throw this guy over whether the guy liked it or not. “We’ll talk. Please, stop this.” 

The baby’s cries can be heard behind them but the cries of the stranger can be heard everywhere. “I...can’t. I don’t deserve to be a father, I don’t deserve love. I don’t belong here.” 

“What’s your name?” Chan asked. He did not know this kid but he would do anything to help him recover, But the pain this kid felt was so strong, Chan was afraid he wouldn’t be much of help right at this moment. While waiting for the kid’s answer, Woojin walks up beside him with the tiny baby in his arms, looking so amazingly beautiful. The baby had stopped crying and moved onto sucking Woojin’s thumb. Without knowing, Chan slightly lets go of the stranger. “What’s your name?” He asks again. 

“Changbin.” Was all the stranger had said before pushing Chan back and attempting to jump off. Changbin was almost successful, just a few more inches and he would have been out of arms reach, but when has changbin ever been lucky? 

In a swift move, Changbin is roughly pulled over the ledge and thrown onto the ground. “The fuck?!” He screams at the stranger, who is staring down at him. “Why did you save me?” He is full on screaming at the stranger. This wasn’t supposed to happen. No, he shouldn’t be alive right now. It’s not right. “Why?” Changbin cries, hurting all over his body. 

“No, what the fuck are  _ you  _ doing?!?” Chan screams back. He was distracted and almost didn’t catch the kid by one second. One second and Chan would have lived a life knowing he let someone  _ die.  _ “You’re just going to leave this beautiful baby behind!?!? What the fuck?!?! You’re so-“ 

“Chan,” Woojin stops his husband from losing his cool and possibly freak out Changbin more. “Let’s stop and take a deep breath.” 

Chan turns to walk away and let’s his husband handle it. He’s afraid that he’ll make it much worse. “Sorry,” He says to both of them and tries to calm himself down. 

“Now,” Woojin says softly, kneeling next to Changbin and skillfully holding the tiny baby on one arm. “Let’s get you somewhere warm,” Woojin extends his free hand for Changbin to grab but he doesn’t. Instead Changbin is staring at the baby. Woojin notices. “Beautiful, isn’t he?” Woojin shifts to show him the baby more clearly. Changbin doesn’t say anything. “I bet the two of you had a hard day, you must be tired.” Woojin slowly grabs Changbin’s arm to help him up. “Do you want me to call anyone? parents-“ 

“NO!” Changbin screams, startling the tiny baby. Woojin retracts his hand and he’s back on square one. “No parents, no police, no..” 

“Okay,” Woojin nods, “I understand, but changbin? it’s freezing out here,” He gestures to the cold air and he almost missed it but he caught Changbin shivering a bit. “Let’s go inside and we can chat? just us. No one else. Okay?” 

It took a while to convince Changbin into walking with them back to their apartment. They stayed quiet the whole walk back with the occasional hushed “Are you okay?” when Changbin would lose his footing, But they all made it nonetheless. 

Chan guided them through the greyish halls and finally into their warm apartment. He sat Changbin down onto the couch while Woojin went into the room to tuck in the baby for sleep. 

“Do you want anything? water?” Chan asked as he locks the door and was about to walk into the kitchen. “Are you hungry?” 

“No, I’m alright.” Changbin frowned. This doesn’t feel right. He’s just so tired. From the corner of his eye, he sees Woojin carefully sit beside him with those worried-filled eyes. “How’s Seungmin?” He asks, his chest feeling ten times heavier. 

“He’s happily asleep on my bed,” Woojin smiles just as Chan emerges from the kitchen and sits across from them. “Little Seungmin needs a father, you know?” Woojin starts slowly, watching for any reaction, Changbin frowns. Probably doubting Woojin and himself. “I know for a fact that little Seungmin would be so happy to have you as his father.” 

“I can’t,” Changbin whispered with tears filling up in his eyes. “I can’t give him anything if he stays with me. I want Seungmin to have a good life, and if that means I can’t be in it, then so be it.” 

“Why’s that?” Chan spoke up, sending a look towards Woojin to promise he won’t scream at him again. “Why can’t you?” 

“I grew up with an abusive father and my mother did nothing to help me.” Changbin confessed , suddenly feeling paranoid. “I put up with their bullshit for years because I thought that was love..” he chuckled, remembering all those sleepless nights just wishing that his mother would look at him. “It wasn’t until I turned 15 when I finally opened my eyes and saw myself.” He remembers all the times his father was so close to actually killing him. “I tried to better myself, I went to school and did my best, I joined more after-school clubs, I even had a girlfriend. I was trying to escape my sad life at home,” He remembers the countless times his mother would try to leave him behind in public places but he would always find his way back home. “When my parents found out that I got my girl pregnant, they went bat-shit crazy and threatened to kill my unborn child.” Changbin doesn’t realize that he’s sobbing uncontrollably so he tries to cover his face in shame, but Woojin is quicker than him. 

“Changbin,” Woojin’s heart broke into so many pieces as Changbin lets out years worth of pain and agony. “Sshh, it’s okay now,” Woojin carefully brings Changbin’s small frame into his arms and pats down his messy hair. “You’re okay now.” 

“I just wanted love,” Changbin screams at nothing, but Woojin knew deep down that he was screaming at his parents. “Was that too much to ask for?” 

They all sit in the living room, no one daring to break the silence. 

Just as Chan was about to say something, they all hear Seungmin crying in the bedroom. “I’ll go check on him.” Chan half-smiles and wipes his face, he looks at Changbin before standing up and disappearing around the corner. 

“Let’s get you to sleep, yeah?” Woojin whispers after a while. Changbin looks exhausted. “You’re okay now.” Woojin helps him lie back and massages his scalp, hoping it would help calm his anxiety. “We’ll talk more in the morning.” 

Woojin sits there while Changbin tries to force himself to keep his eyes open but he fails, he’s asleep by the time Chan comes back. 

“Seungmin had a big poopie but he’s fine and asleep again,” Chan pulls Woojin from Changbin, leading him to the kitchen. He observed his husband all night and he just knows that Woojin would do anything for Changbin and Seungmin, hell, Chan would too. “How are you feeling?” 

Woojin laughs as his tears fall, “We just saved that kid from dying and you’re asking me how i’m feeling?” 

“Through sickness and health, am I right?” Chan holds out his pinkie, smiling when Woojin locks their pinkies together. “Gosh, I can’t believe we got married.”

“I love you,” Woojin smiles at him. “So much.” 

“I love you,” Chan kisses their locked pinkies, “To the moon and back.” 

They sit there, slowly acknowledging the elephant in the room. They have two guests in their apartment and they have no idea who they are. 

“Hey, by the way, what did you use to cover up Seungmin?” Woojin asks, genuinely confused. “We don’t have diapers or anything.” 

“Oh right,” Chan coughs. “I washed him up at the sink and quickly realized I couldn’t use his used diaper again,” Chan laughed. “So, I used the towel and wrapped him up.” 

“Better than nothing, I guess.” Woojin chuckled, deciding to check on their guests. “Can you warm up some tea?” he asks as he’s walking out. He’s almost across the room when he realizes something was off, something was terribly wrong. It took him ten long seconds to finally realize that Changbin wasn’t sleeping on the couch. He’s missing. “Chan!!” 

Woojin runs to the bedroom, hoping that Changbin decided to sleep with his son, but that hope was long gone when he only saw Seungmin sleeping soundly with no one beside him. “Oh god, no,” Woojin quickly runs back to the living room where Chan was frantically putting on his coat again, he seemed to catch on what was happening. “Where are you going?!” 

“I’m looking for him!” Chan is almost out the door then he turns around to grab his keys, “Stay here and wait to see if he comes back, okay?” 

“Okay, i’ll call for help,” Woojin watches the door slam and he almost faints. Where did he go? Changbin was just here. “Oh, please be alive.” He quietly cries. 

Chan was quickly running out of the apartment building but he’s stopped by his neighbors, who were also coming back from the Chruch. “Hey, Chan!!” Jisung happily shouts after him, skipping two steps and lifts his hands to show the ring on his finger. “Look who got married!” 

Chan smiles at the simple sliver ring. “Congratulations you two,” He gives them both a hug, he’s truly happy for them. “I hope married life is good to us,” He chuckles, showing off his own ring.

“Yeah, I sure hope so,” Minho walks up behind them, wrapping his arms around his husband. “The line was so fucking long, but it was worth it knowing I got to marry this piece of trash,” Jisung gasps and slaps Minho’s arm. 

“Where you running off in a hurry?” Jisung asks, his eyes big and curious. “Did you forget your marriage certificate like this idiot did?” Jisung yelps in surprise when Minho bites his shoulder. 

“No, I have mine at home,” Chan remembers that he’s on a search party. “I’m actually looking for someone. He sorta ran off on Woojin and I.” Chan bows and congratulated the newlyweds one more time before running out the door. 

Chan searches everywhere. He even went back to the bridge but no luck. He messages Woojin to see if Changbin actually went back but no luck again. He runs to nearby bars, clubs, and even homeless shelters. No Changbin in sight. This is getting bad. 

“Fuck,” Chan hisses, kicking a few boxes when he didn’t find Changbin in the alleyways. 

After two hours of aimlessly running around, Chan is exhausted. He needs to catch his breath. “Where are you, changbin?” He asks and decides to walk back home. It’s getting colder and he needs a thicker coat. He thinks of places he might find Changbin but it’s across town and he only has his bike. Might as well put on mittens and a hat too.

He’s just getting closer to his building when he notices Red and Blue lights flashing brightly and the crowd of people looking towards the garbage dumps. Oh no, Chan suddenly feels like he’s going to faint but he can’t right now. He needs to see to confirm his suspicions. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” Chan asks anyone nearby, just as this woman is about answer, Chan hears his name being called. It’s Jisung. 

“Chan!!” Jisung waves him over, he’s already in his pajamas but he looks like he saw a ghost. “Thank god,” Jisung gives him a hug. 

“What happened?” Chan asks, suddenly dreading the answer. Jisung frowns and tightens the hug. “Ji, tell me.” 

“Minho was going to throw away the trash,” Jisung starts, tears threatening to spill. “He comes back looking so pale and he’s yelling at me to call the police,” Jisung notices the way Chan tenses up, “Of course I call, but Minho is running out again and this time I follow him. We walk to the dumps and I wasn’t ready to see someone hanging-“ 

Chan doesn’t let Jisung finish, and he’s walking towards the police tape. He doesn’t hear Jisung shouting for him. He doesn’t see Minho talking to the police. He doesn’t respond to the police who were trying to push him back. He doesn’t feel anything when he finally sees the person he’s been looking for all night, catching his pale face before the paramedics cover his whole body with a white sheet. 

Chan takes out his phone and sees 10 messages from his husband, asking if he found Changbin yet. With tears forming in his eyes, he checks the time. It’s 2:18am. 

With shaking fingers, he slowly types his short message. 

To  _ Woojinieeee _

_ he’s gone.  _

  
  


………

…….

….

..

.

  
  


The next day Seungmin and his parents drove to Yongin, where Seungmin was born, but most importantly, where his biological dad was buried. Seungmin had no idea what to feel. He spent 18 years of his life living comfortably without knowing that his real dad was here the whole time. Real dad. Was he? He can’t be if he wasn’t there, right? 

“Minnie, you alright?” Woojin smiled at him, opening the car door for him. They came straight to the cemetery once they were finished with breakfast at a cafe nearby. Chan had gotten flowers sometime before, because Seungmin suddenly had them in his hands. Together they walked further down the path until Chan stopped. “We’ll wait right here, okay?” Woojin kissed Seungmin’s cheek, who was momentarily scared of going alone but he nodded anyway. He needs to do this himself. 

Seungmin turned around and kept walking, his heart was beating ten times faster with every step until, finally, he found the tombstone. He found his dad.

** Seo Changbin  **

** 1999 - 2017 **

**Father, Friend, and Life’s Greatest Loss.**

The tombstone itself was so sad and plain. No flowers, no nothing. It was just there. Seungmin slowly kneels down and carefully places the flowers beside the old dusty picture frame. It took him a while to realize it was a picture of Changbin. 

“H-Hey Changbin,” Seungmin started, settling on the grass. “It’s Seungmin- Uh, Your son,” adverts his eyes to Chan and Woojin, who were sitting at a bench not too far from him. “Was your son,” Seungmin corrects himself; frowning. 

Seungmin sits there. Trying to make sense of all this. Just as he’s about to cry out in frustration,He overheard his parents giggling and whispering to each other, and Seungmin smiles. For the first time, Seungmin feels content. 

This whole thing doesn’t have to confusing, Seungmin doesn’t have to understand why, No he just needs to appreciate. Things happens for a reason. 

Seungmin turns his head to read the tombstone again, feeling happier. The word “Father” is first. 

“Changbin,” Seungmin whispers, smile growing larger by the second. “I love you and I always will. You will forever be a father in my eyes.” 

Seungmin talks to Changbin. He tells him everything that happened in his life so far. He wishes he could see Changbin smile with him. He’s just in the middle of telling his father a story about his elementary days when Woojin shouts for him. 

“Minnie! Uncle Jisung and Minho invited us for dinner!” Woojin smiles as his son quickly tells him he’ll right there. 

Seungmin didn’t realize that he’s been talking all afternoon and it’s 6:30pm. He wishes he could stay, but he’ll visit again. 

Seungmin stands up and places his hand on the tombstone, closing his eyes. “Forever my father.” 

Seungmin walks away, but he didn’t notice the way his hand was cold, or the way the wind changed directions, or the way the flowers were a brighter colour, or the fainted whisper that traveled with Seungmin all the way back to Seoul. 

“ _ Forever My Child..” _

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> and i oop- 
> 
> ok hi. It took me 2 weeks to write this bc i kept changing the ending. I think it’s okay but I still don’t like it lol 
> 
> I had a hard summer and I had so many feelings, so i decided to write my feelings. so.. tada! 
> 
> let me know what you think uwu
> 
> {NOV 2019:   
Hi. I’m thinking of rewriting this whole thing and change a few things but I don’t know if i should. hmm}


End file.
